Danger Goes Berserk

  CONTENTS

  I: BEGINNING AGAIN

  II: BOARD TROUBLE

  III: HIGHWAY TO PERIL

  IV: SURF SCENE

  V: POINT PANIC

  VI: PADDLE OUT

  VII: OUT OF LIMITS

  VIII: BANZAI WASHOUT

  IX: WASH UP

  X: POLICE EMERGENCY

  XI: DEAD END

  XII: ANOTHER MYSTERY

  XIII: CASELOAD

  XIV: PIRATE SHIPS

  XV: A THIRD MYSTERY

  XVI: PUZZLES

  XVII: TAILING THE SUSPECT

  XVIII: HOT PURSUIT

  XIX: A BELT IN THE BREADBASKET

  XX: UP A TREE

  XXI: CLUE-HUNTING

  XXII: BRODY’S BACK

  XXIII: SWELLS

  XXIV: THE NOOSE TIGHTENS

  XXV: AN ANGRY MAN

  XXVI: SWEET STUFF

  XXVII: SURVEILLANCE

  XXVIII: A SINISTER WARNING

  XXIX: STRANGE CURRENTS

  XXX: AN ODD DEVELOPMENT

  XXXI: INTERROGATION

  XXXII: PHANTOM FREIGHTER

  XXXIII: FROGMEN

  XXXIV: BERSERKERGANG

  XXXV: RECOVERING THE DINGUS

  XXXVI: BUSTIN’ SURFBOARDS

  XXXVII: IN THE BAG

  XXXVIII: BREAK

  XXXIX: ICE CREAM

  XL: REENLISTING A CHUM

  XLI: INTO THE WATER

  XLII: THE VILLAINS REVEALED

  XLIII: CAPTURED!

  XLIV: BERSERK

  XLV: MYSTO

  XLVI: GETAWAY!

  XLVII: BRAWL AMIDSHIPS

  XLVIII: CAUGHT INSIDE

  XLIX: IMPACT ZONE

  L: A DARING PLAN

  LI: LADDER TO PERIL

  LII: ABOARD THE WRECK

  LIII: BACK ASHORE

  ABOUT MAC BARNETT AND MATTHEW MYERS

  For Taylor—M. B.

  Steve Brixton was running out of air!

  CHAPTER I

  BEGINNING AGAIN

  STEVE BRIXTON, private detective, age twelve and freshly back from retirement, was reading in his office. Until last week, what was now Steve’s office had been just a large doghouse in Steve Brixton’s backyard, but the Brixtons did not own a dog and never had. The previous tenants had a Saint Bernard named Bandy, and when they’d moved away, they’d taken the dog but left the doghouse. Steve’s mom had been using it for storage until Steve had convinced her that it was pretty much begging to be converted into the headquarters of a world-famous detective agency.

  Steve had swept the place out and painted the walls white. He’d hung up a map of Ocean Park and the surrounding coast, and he’d bought a small box of map tacks to help him keep track of crime waves. (Right now the map featured a single red pin, marking the location of the office in which the map now hung, but Steve was ready with more pins of many colors, just in case.) A small card table was Steve’s desk. There were two tiny wooden chairs. In the evenings, light came from a lamp powered by a bright orange extension cord that ran across the backyard and up through Steve’s bedroom window.

  The space was a bit cramped, but it was clean and bright, and as long as you crouched, it could fit one comfortably—and up to two uncomfortably.

  The best part: Steve had hired a professional sign painter to letter his name where the dog’s name used to be—right above the door, or doorway, since there really wasn’t a door, just a rectangular hole in the wall for a dog to enter and exit—and it looked like this:

  And so, on a Thursday evening, Steve put his feet on his desk and read. Outside, the dark sky was shot through with peaches and pinks, and the office glowed in the dusk light. Steve’s desk lamp was still unlit. He tilted back in his chair.

  Behind Steve’s head, on shelves he’d installed himself, were the shiny red spines of the books collectively known as the Bailey Brothers Mysteries. The Bailey Brothers Mysteries related the heart-pounding, rip-roaring adventures of Shawn and Kevin Bailey, teenage brothers, straight-A students, and red-blooded, corn-fed supersleuths. The books were by Steve’s favorite author and mortal enemy, MacArthur Bart, a man who had turned to a life of crime after a long bout of writer’s block. Steve had uncovered his hero’s villainy when he’d discovered The Ghostwriter Secret—and although Steve had foiled one of Bart’s schemes, the man had gotten away. It still bugged Steve that Bart was a free man. Even now Bart was no doubt incubating his sinister schemes in some dark and teeming fold of America’s criminal underbelly.

  Still, his books were pretty ace.

  And the fact was this: Bart and the Bailey Brothers had taught Steve everything he knew about the art of detection. Steve had read and reread the fifty-eight Bailey Brothers mysteries, plus he was deeply familiar with The Bailey Brothers’ Detective Handbook. The handbook, which compiled the accumulated professional wisdom of Shawn and Kevin Bailey, was pretty much full-to-bursting with tricks and tips for gumshoes of all stripes. There were chapters like “Useful Morse Code” ( . . . --- . . . and -.-. .- -. -. .. - . . . .- .-.. . . .) and “How to Outwit Hypnotists” (sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” backward).

  Right now, the handbook was lying open on Steve’s desk while he read Bailey Brothers #25: The Clue of the Caves in the Cove. The story was at a good part:

  Fair-haired Kevin Bailey opened up the throttle and expertly piloted the Deducer VII across the rough seas. “Keep an eye out for the Dark and Stormy! Her black hull will be hard to spot in this pea soup!” he shouted above the roar of the speedboat’s motor.

  “Aye, aye!” cried dark-haired Shawn, who was manning the Deducer VII’s powerful search lamp. “Joseph Tanaka and his smugglers will never get away.”

  Their stout chum, Ernest Plumly, was looking green. “I shouldn’t have eaten such a big lunch,” he groaned. “I don’t know if I can ever look at a roast beef sandwich again.”

  “Somebody write that down!” chuckled Shawn.

  “If he keeps that pledge, Albert’s Delicatessen will soon be out of business!” grinned Kevin.

  “Don’t bet on it, fellows,” Ernest rejoined with a rueful smile. “I didn’t say anything about ham sandwiches.”

  The boys all laughed.

  “Scampering squirrels!” exclaimed eagle-eyed Shawn, pointing straight ahead. “There she is! The Dark and Stormy!”

  The smugglers’ ship emerged from the fog.

  Kevin got on the Deducer VII’s bullhorn as he slowed the boat. “Give it up, Tanaka!” he warned. “Three Coast Guard cutters are right behind us.”

  The hatch of the criminals’ craft opened up. Joseph Tanaka popped up and shrieked, “You don’t have any evidence, Baileys!” Laughing, the swarthy ringleader dumped a wooden crate into the ocean!

  Quick as a flash, Shawn Bailey, who was an excellent skin diver and proficient in aquatic lifesaving techniques, dove into the choppy waters. With a few powerful strokes, he made his way toward the Dark and Stormy, then disappeared beneath the swells.

  Many tense seconds passed as Kevin and Ernest waited for the brave sleuth to resurface.

  “Sure seems like he’s been down there a while,” Ernest worried.

  “These are rougher seas than he’s used to swimming,” Kevin fretted.

  Then, all of a sudden, Shawn Bailey’s head broke the surface of the water. He was grinning and holding a clear bag. “Here’s your evidence, Tanaka!” he exulted. He peered at the contents of the bag and read the label. “I happen to know that these are controlled pharmaceuticals! I overheard my doctor mention this particular type of medicine to a nurse last week, when I went in for my annual physical!”

  “Blast you, Baileys!” Tanaka raged. The smuggler’s long black braid flapped behind him in the wind, and his gold earring
s shone in the light of the Deducer’s lamp. “Too bad you’ll never make it back to shore.”

  “What do you mean?” Kevin queried on the bullhorn. “The Deducer VII’s shipshape!”

  “That may be so,” snarled Tanaka, “but she’s carrying a time bomb!”

  Kevin and Ernest looked at each other in terror. Suddenly the ticking noise they’d heard in the boathouse made sense!

  Steve turned the page just as a large figure blocked the doorway of the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency, plunging the office into darkness.

  It was Danimal!

  CHAPTER II

  BOARD TROUBLE

  “HEY, LITTLE MAN,” said the big man in the doorway. Steve recognized him.

  “Hi, Danimal,” said Steve. “Come on in.”

  “New office, huh?” said Danimal, ducking through the entry. He was wearing shorts and a baggy tank top with a duck on it. His long hair was held back by sunglasses. Danimal looked around. “Place is pretty sick. Cramped, but sick. It could use a window, though.”

  “Well, the door’s sort of the window,” Steve said.

  “Yeah, I guess. A real window would really open the place up, though.”

  “Yeah, well it used to be a doghouse.”

  “Right, right.” Danimal looked uncomfortable, bent over at the waist and still pressed up against the ceiling.

  Steve motioned for Danimal to sit. Danimal was too big for the chair. He folded his legs underneath him and sat on the floor.

  “You can just put the chair outside,” Steve said. It was taking up a lot of room.

  “Good idea.” Danimal pushed the chair through the doorway. It tipped over and fell on the lawn.

  “So what’s up?” Steve asked.

  “I want to hire you, little man.”

  There wasn’t room for Steve to put his feet up on the desk anymore. There was barely room for the desk. He opened up his black notebook and grabbed a pen. “What’s the case?” he asked.

  “Point Panic again.” Point Panic was what everybody had been calling Mímulo Point, a nearby surf spot, ever since fins had been spotted offshore. Steve had first met Danimal in his last adventure, It Happened on a Train—the surfer had been attacked at Point Panic and his board chewed up. Steve had determined that the shark attack had been faked—although why someone would stage a bogus shark attack remained a mystery. Steve’s fake-shark theory had been published in the local newspaper, and the point had recently been reopened, but lingering fear had kept the lineup sparse.

  Danimal leaned forward. “So I check the surf report yesterday and I just know the point’ll be going off. I strap a couple boards to the car and peel out. And as I turn the bend before Mímulo, the sun is coming up, and sure enough—corduroy out to the horizon.”

  Steve stopped taking notes and looked up.

  “The swell,” Danimal said. “Waves. Lots of them.”

  “Okay,” said Steve.

  “So I park out on the point, right behind this old ice cream truck painted like a leopard—which I already know is bad news.”

  “Why?”

  “Truck belongs to the Berserkers. You know the Berserkers?”

  Steve shook his head.

  “A local surf gang. Bunch of punks. Show-offs. The leader’s this guy Tremor Temchin—you ever hear of him? The story on this dude is that he’s got sharks’ teeth mounted on the nose of his board so that nobody drops in on him.”

  “Drops in?”

  “Yeah,” said Danimal. “Tries to surf a wave that’s his. You do that, and he’ll come charging up behind you riding something sharp. The Berserkers are a pretty heavy crew. They used to hang out at Hammerhead—that’s a nice break, but nobody else has surfed it for years. Everybody’s afraid to. These guys are really territorial.”

  “Okay,” Steve said.

  “So I make my way down the cliffs, and when I get down to the beach, somebody’s spray-painted a Viking helmet on a boulder.”

  “That somebody being one of the Berserkers,” Steve said.

  “No doubt,” Danimal said. “The helmet’s their logo.”

  Steve noted that in his book.

  “So I paddle out,” Danimal says. “There’s already about six or seven of these Berserkers in the lineup, and when they see me coming, they start hooting at me, telling me to go home and calling me the Malman.”

  “The Malman?”

  “A Mal’s a longboard—it’s an old-school board, the kind of board the guys rode in the sixties. The Berserkers are a bunch of hotdoggers—they all ride shortboards. Shortboarders are always trash-talking longboarders.”

  “Right,” said Steve.

  “So these guys start snaking my waves, dropping in on me, and edging me out of the lineup. I can’t catch a ride. They’re acting like Mímulo’s their spot, which is nuts. I’ve been surfing there since I was a kid. The whole thing was bumming me out, so I paddled in after less than an hour. And when I get back up to the car, these punks have waxed my windows and stolen my other board off the roof rack.”

  “Waxed your windows?”

  “Yeah, you rub surf wax all over the glass. Classic trick. It’s a total pain to get the stuff off. But the board, little man. You don’t steal a guy’s board.”

  Steve took his feet off the table. He bit his thumbnail. “Why not go to the cops?” Steve asked.

  “I did. They don’t care. I can’t prove these guys took the board,” Danimal said. “But I know they did. About fifteen minutes into my session, one of the younger guys paddled in. He must have been the one who stole it. But the cops just took a crime report and said they didn’t have much hope. The police here don’t care what happens on the water, man.”

  “So you want me to be a go-between?” Steve asked. “Bargain for your board back? These guys don’t sound like they’re real negotiators.”

  “I don’t care how you do it,” Danimal said. “Steal the board back, or just prove that they took it and we can take the evidence to the cops.”

  “Hmm,” said Steve. “What does the board look like?”

  “She was beautiful,” Danimal said. “About ten feet long, with rounded edges. Single fin. Redwood stringer—a half-inch wood plank running down the whole length of the board. Bright red.”

  Steve wrote down everything Danimal said although he didn’t understand most of it. When he finished, he rocked back and forth in his chair. These Berserkers were bullies, and bullies were high on the list of the Bailey Brothers’ most-hated finks. (They were somewhere below cat burglars, but above safecrackers.) In fact, Shawn and Kevin mentioned how much they hated bullies in practically every Bailey Brothers book—they denounced bullies almost as often as they made jokes about Ernest eating too many sandwiches.

  “Steve,” Danimal said. “You have to get the board back. My grandpa shaped it himself. I love that thing.” He looked near tears.

  Steve stopped rocking. “I’ll take your case.”

  CHAPTER III

  HIGHWAY TO PERIL

  IT WAS A SIMPLE assignment: go undercover as a surfer and prove the Berserkers had Danimal’s board. If Steve gained this crew’s trust, they’d probably incriminate themselves.

  The Bailey Brothers’ Detective Handbook has plenty of useful information about going undercover:

  Shawn Bailey is a master of disguise! He’s always going undercover to pump lowlifes for valuable information. We bet you won’t even recognize him in these classic getups:

  THE SHAGGY POET

  Associates with: smugglers, political radicals, saboteurs Lady wig Fake beard Turtleneck sweater Tight slacks Paperback novel Favorite phrases: “hep daddy-o’s,” “cool cats,” “the Repulsion and Attraction of Workpeople by the Factory System”

  HOBO JIMMY

  Associates with: smugglers, flimflam artists, other hobos Busted hat Dirty face Blacked-out tooth Bindle Giant pants Can of beans Favorite phrases: “Skunk’s good eatin’!,” “Whatta pain in the caboose!,” “I’m Hobo Jimmy!”

  NUCLEA
R SCIENTIST

  Associates with: smugglers, Soviets, Soviet smugglers Neat hairdo Glasses Lab coat Pen Favorite phrases: “My Atomotrons run on pure Cosmonium,” “My Cosmotrons run on pure Atomium.”

  Unfortunately, The Bailey Brothers’ Detective Handbook has no information on the habits and appearance of surfers. Luckily, there is plenty of insider knowledge and hip surf lingo in Bailey Brothers #54: Death Rode the Nose, in which the Baileys travel to Oahu, tie for first place in the Waikiki Masters Surf Tournament, and ultimately uncover a gang of kidnappers operating from beneath a volcano. After skimming the book a couple times on Thursday, Steve felt ready to hit the water.

  Less ready was Dana, Steve’s best chum.

  “Don’t call me chum,” Dana said when they met up after school and got on their bikes. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “I’m sure it’s a great idea,” said Steve. “If these Berserkers respect us as surfers, they’ll want to impress us by telling us about stealing Danimal’s surfboard. The case will practically solve itself.”

  “Yeah, but we don’t surf.”

  The boys pedaled down the road that led along the coast. Steve looked out at the ocean, windswept and white-capped, and he twinged a bit at the thought of paddling out into those gray waters. He gripped his handlebars a little tighter. The Bailey Brothers’ Detective Handbook says, “Good gumshoes swallow their fear, then wash it down with a glass of homemade lemonade.” Steve felt thirsty.

  Dana had a point: They’d never been surfing. The good breaks were a decent bike ride from Ocean Park, and so neither Steve nor Dana had ever learned. Dana owned a skateboard, but Steve didn’t, so Dana hardly rode it, at least not when Steve was around. And skating was different, anyway: You weren’t in the ocean. Sometimes Steve would see packs of surfers huddled in the Sideways Cafe, stopping over on their way from one wave to another, or waiting out some sudden storm. There was something about the way they talked, and dressed, and moved, the way their faces were tanned even in the middle of winter, that made them seem unapproachable. The surfers Steve had seen in town never looked like they fully belonged on land.